Spontaneous Combustion

I just made myself an adult beverage by combining:

and

and after taking a drink and not tasting any alocohol, I added more. And more. After still not tasting anything I thought, "Wow. This is dangerous".

Then I got to the bottom. Apparently my boy Jerry doesn't automatically mix as well as his Naval superior Captain Morgan. I was holding my drink and shuffled in my socks down to my bedroom and grabbed the doorknob. Immediately following the static shock, I kid you not, the drink burst into flames.



I apologize now for any future facebook statuses, myspace rants, and twatty tweets. It's going to be an ineresting night.

Surprise... Butt Sex?

This is my actual horoscope via Twitter for today...

(I wish I was making this up)...


"Sexy Venus is flirting with Uranus in your sign today, tempting you to say yes before you even know where you're going.


You may be seeing green lights, but keep in mind that things could change instantaneously if you don't stay aware of everything that's happening around you. Avoid any unpleasant surprises by focusing on the present moment throughout the entire day, instead of always thinking about what's next."


Listen Twitter...

A. Exit only.

B. Maybe YOU should focus less on my sex life and more on the fact that "ParanormalBlacktivity" is actually a trending topic at the moment.


Green light my ass... Wait, no.